Wet Reindeer Smell?

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Given the time of year and the current weather, I’ve been wondering just how bad a wet reindeer would smell. Now, like me, you’re asking, “what does this have to do with carpet?” It’s a reach, but hey, Al’s never going to stop bugging me if I don’t write an article. So turn away if you’re a vege-fascist, but once upon a time carpets were furs and skins.

That’s right, if you wanted a rug, you went out and hunted something that would look good on the floor of your cave.  I can hear the “fur is murder!” screams from here. Face it, as far as animals go, food wrapped in clothes is a tough hint to ignore.

So a deer might be a few nice meals and a shirt, but if you’re going to carpet the entire floor of your cave it’s really hard to beat a mammoth. Covers a lot of space. This is how you end up with five guys with spears trying to bring down a fur covered elephant. On the face of it, pretty insane.

My guess, beer was involved somewhere in the decision making process. The next time you wonder how you could have done something so stupid last night, remember, whatever it was, it didn’t involve attacking a two ton mammal with a sharp stick.

I digress. Back to wet reindeer.

As all of us who have ever owned a dog know wet fur smells horrific. Terrible. Only thing worse is burning hair — which is what you get when you try to dry a fur rug over an open fire. So fur rugs and rain, not a great mix for our friendly barbarian, especially if you add beer. Actually anytime you add beer to anything involving fire the results are going to be interesting.

So I’m guessing woven rugs were a pretty big improvement. And since you know the women were doing the weaving, men could just avoid that “crushed by a mammoth” scene and stick with drinking beer and hunting a deer for dinner.

Civilization: the direct result of beer and bad smells. What does that have to do with reindeer? Not a damn thing.

– Wayne

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